The New Life of Bowser
by LakelandHm
Summary: Bowser is left with no troops and the Mushroom Kingdom adapts to life without threat of attack, but a whole new adventure opens up when Bowser and Mario team up in a unique story which will give Bowser a whole new life. Chapter 5 out! No more updates!
1. Big Surprise!

This story was first put on Lemmy's Fun Fiction by the author Buddy. I am that author. I'm uploading this story to FanFiction.net so my stories will be read by more people. This story is copyrighted by Buddy/LakelandHm. Thank you and enjoy!  
  
The New Life of Bowser   
  
By LakelandHm  
  
Chapter 1-Big Surprise!   
  
The news went through the Mushroom Kingdom like a storm. The King of the Koopas, Bowser, had thrown in the white flag. The last of his troops had been defeated on Isle Delfino and now Bowser was alone in his castle, just sitting there on his throne wishing for Goomba Soup. He listened to the birds outside, chirping happily. It sounded like each one said "Bowser defeated" and then responded to themselves with "for good". After hearing their chanting over and over again, he went to the window and fried them all. He sat back on his throne and started to cry, his life was over.   
  
He had depended on his troops too much. They'd cooked for him, bathed for him, they'd even built the now-empty castle. The only thing he'd learn to do on his own was give orders. He'd sat around and watched them while he ate frog legs. And now, in his quiet castle, there was no troops stomping around in front of him, no troops reporting bad or good news to him, and no more frog legs. He knew his life wasn't over, just his old life. Now he had to move on to newer things. But he couldn't. Nobody liked him. The Mushroom people were afraid of him, the princess was afraid of him, Mario and Luigi hated him, and Yoshi licked him in his mouth, which isn't right. Where would he go? Money wasn't a problem, but he had nothing to do with it; merchants refused to sell things to him.   
  
His son, Bowser, Jr., had run away to a faraway land since their last fight with Mario. Bowser was now sorry for hitting him for not making his bed when he got up in the morning. But, did Bowser ever make his own bed? No. His troops had. Bowser slapped himself in the face. He wanted to do pain to himself like the pain he has done to others. And it felt good.   
  
He was going to have to be a good guy now, he had to do good for the princess, not take her. He had to protect her, but from what? He'd been her only problem, but no longer. He'd have to settle with Mario, and it wouldn't be easy. True, Bowser had sided with Mario before but he'd always had to do something mean to him no matter what. He loved it when he hit the tennis ball and it bounced off of Mario's face, he loved it with he hit his go-kart with a Green Shell, he loved it when he snapped a golf club over his head, and he really loved it when he'd fought against Mario during the Smash Brothers age. He could love those things no more. No longer could he hate Mario, but love him.   
  
"Yuck," he shouted out in disgust.   
  
But why did he? There was nobody around to hear him.   
  
It was a great day in the Mushroom Kingdom. Mushroom people laughed and played at Town Square, where Mario was about to make a speech. He was going to talk about the future of the kingdom without worry of Bowser. A group of teens played with a new set of cards that had come out in past days. On each card was a different picture of Bowser, each with an X covering his body. Another group of teens was spraypainting one of the card pictures onto a wall. When Toadsworth walked by them, he looked at the drawing and laughed. Bowser wasn't feared anymore. When you talked about Bowser, you were talking about comedy.   
  
Everybody clapped and cheered while the teens looked away from what they were doing to a raised platform in the middle of all the excitement. Mario was standing up there, looking more proud and brave than ever, flipping through some papers which must have been his speech. Mario wasn't good at public speaking so he'd probably spent days on the papers in front of him.   
  
"Ladies and gentlemen of the Mushroom Kingdom, these past days have been happy days." The Mushroom people clapped again. "I know that almost every single one of you probably knows: Bowser has thrown in the towel, or flag or whatever, and is now no longer a threat. The terrorism he has caused us is no more. He has no more troops left, the fat pig is probably sitting on his throne right now feeling sorry for himself. Let him cry, because he will be no more in our lives. To make sure of this and to see to it that he's not working on a master plan, I'm going to go to his castle tomorrow to tear down everything there is. We will make sure there is not one secret in his castle, not one troop yet." Mario took a big breath and looked around. "If you would like to ask any questions about this topic now before I go on, please do so."   
  
Bowser was standing outside his castle. It was a hot day outside and there was a forest fire across the river from his castle. He wanted to go tell the princess, Mario, and everybody else that he was sorry. But he'd never said the word before so he had to practice while he started to go across the bridge.   
  
"Sory, no, that's not right. Maybe it's, Sony, no, that's Nintendo's enemy. Wait, what's Nintendo? I know there's an r in it. So let it be Sorny!" Bowser was confused. He knew the word "sorry" but couldn't say it right. "Okay, I have something to tell you all, I'm sorry for the troubles I have caused throughout your lives."   
  
Perfect, he thought. He'd said it and he'd say it again. He continued to walk through the forest towards the kingdom while saying sorry over and over again. They would agree to let him in sooner or later. He just had to prove he was worthy of being one of them.   
  
Somebody raised their hand. "Yes?" Mario said, looking at them.   
  
"What about other dangers in this big world that might threaten us?"   
  
Mario thought for a moment and then said, "Yes, true, the world is big, but not the island that we live on. The only danger that we had around here was Smithy and Bowser. Both of them are gone. But if any danger ever happens to enter the kingdom, I'll be there. I'll always be there for you. I'll never leave you all." Mario took another breath.   
  
The whole Town Square clapped and cheered at what Mario had just said. He knew they were going to be louder later after he shared his surprise. A lady raised her hand and Mario called on her. "When you said that Bowser was gone, he isn't."   
  
Mario knew this but he had to say something. "Well, Bowser cannot harm us anymore. He tried too many times and has failed too many times. He overworked his troops and now they are gone. Without his troops or any weapons, he is a nobody."   
  
More clapped. Nobody else had any questions so he went on. "Now, you may wonder what we're going to do about the kingdom: make it bigger, better, and wealthier. How you ask? The mushrooms that grow in the forest of the kingdom don't grow anywhere else on the island. We can pick and sell the best for a good deal. Maybe one mushroom will sell for 500 coins. And that is a lot. Then the strongest of us will get wood from the forests to build more houses and make more land." He looked around while everyone looked at each other. Mario was worried. Did they misunderstand him or don't they like the idea? Then, everybody started to clap and cheer. "Any questions will be answered."   
  
Bowser was struggling to climb a cliff. Usually he had his troops to lift him up over a steep one like this. This time, he was on his own. He felt the way his troops used to feel, tired. When he reached the top he looked down and wondered how he'd ever got up there. He heard his stomach growl and rubbed it. He looked at a batch of berries next to him, but he couldn't eat them. He was a carnivore, he ate meat, live meat. He then saw a rabbit hopping along a field to the left of him. He ran over to it, chased it, grabbed it, and threw it in his mouth. When he continued on the trail to the Mushroom Kingdom and opened his mouth to yawn, the rabbit hopped out and got away. Bowser stomped his foot in anger. Being a carnivore was a risk you had to take; when you are something alive, it could come back out alive.   
  
Bowser practically had to drag himself the rest of the way to the kingdom, oweing to his ever-increasing hunger and fatigue. When he was almost there he saw a group of little Mushroom kids playing in a sandbox outside their house. He knew little kids didn't know who he was so he tried to be polite and walked up to them. "Hi kids, are you having fun?"   
  
The little boy and girl looked at each other and turned to Bowser, "We're not allowed to talk to strangers."   
  
"I'm no stranger, I'm Mario's best friend, you know, his buddy. I'm also Luigi's friend too." Bowser knew he was lying but he wanted to make a good impression.   
  
The boy ran into the house. Bowser thought he was going to get his parents so he started to walk away when the boy came out of the house by himself. He was carrying two action figures, one was Mario, the other was Bowser. He looked at the Bowser figure, then at Bowser himself. "Aren't you this guy?" the boy asked.   
  
"Yes, I am."   
  
"You're not a good guy, you're bad." He turned to his sister. "Hurry up and get into the house before he eats us!" They both ran into the house and the boy threw the Bowser figure at him. "You can have it. It's evil," he shouted and slammed the door.   
  
Bowser picked up his figurine and looked at it. It looked just like him. The figure had a big, evil grin on his face. The figure was evil. He threw it at a tree and the figure's eyes went red. It got up and started walking towards Bowser.   
  
"Oh my God, it's alive!" Bowser shouted. In the corner of his eyes he saw the kids looking through the window, both of them pointing. Bowser wanted to act brave and make it look like he would save them. Well, they weren't in trouble but he'd pretend to fight it. He knew it was only a wind-up toy.   
  
"Don't worry, kids. I'll save you from this evil thing that you threw at me." He ran at it but stopped in his tracks. There was fire coming out of the figure's mouth, pretty dangerous toy for a kid. He looked at the kids through the window and their eyes showed that they were afraid. Was this toy supposed to breathe fire, or not? Maybe it was evil.   
  
Bowser then used his fire breath to fry the toy, or he thought he had. There wasn't a mark on it. The little figure then lifted its finger and shot a beam of light at Bowser's chest. Bowser was hurled over onto his side and stopped breathing.   
  
There was no questions to answer so Mario went on. "It's now time for my secret, everybody!"   
  
Everybody paused and stared at Mario. Peach didn't know what he was doing so she just looked at Toadsworth using his cane to kill some ants on the ground. But she might've guessed what was coming.   
  
Mario took something out of his pocket and walked over to Peach. He kneeled down and Peach smiled. Mario held out what he had in his hand; it was a velvet, purple box. He held Peach's hand in one of his own and held the box in the other.   
  
"Princess Peach, we have always been there for each other. Now that Bowser is gone, we can finally move on with our lives and with the lives of others in the kingdom," Mario said while lifting his head up a little more and opening the box in his hand. Inside the box was a ruby red ring that sparkled in the bright, morning sun. "Will you marry me?"   
  
That was it, Mario had said it. The both of them knew this day would come, and it had finally arrived. Peach just had to say one simple word and they'd be off to the wedding chapel. Peach looked like she might start to cry. Her face got more and more wet as the seconds went by, but then she said, "Yes. God yes, Mario!"   
  
Mario then put the ring on Peach's ring finger and pulled her up. They started to dance while everybody around cheered and clapped louder, and with more interest, than ever before. Toadsworth then stood up and started to talk. "Good show Master Mario, good show!"   
  
Later that day, Mario and Peach had dinner at her castle and talked about the future of almost everything: the kingdom, children, even Bowser. "Where do you really think he is now, Mario?" Peach said with interest in Bowser.   
  
"Probably still crying like a baby, who knows with him."   
  
"Yeah, but he could just be waiting to unleash a huge attack."   
  
"By himself? Give me a break. He might stick his horn through my chest first and jump off a cliff."   
  
"Mario! Don't joke like that! You scare me!"   
  
"Sorry honey, you don't have to yell."   
  
Bowser awoke to find himself in a bed in a stone-walled room. It smelt just like his old castle that was no more to him in his new life. He got up and looked at his bed. It was the same one from his castle. Had he returned home?   
  
Bowser went through the door to find a big hallway. It didn't look a thing like his old castle. There were pictures of his son, Iggy Koopa, all over the place. Also there were Koopa guards walking up and down the hall, and he had no troops.   
  
Bowser stepped out into the hall and greeted one guard. "Hello, you must know me, King of the Koopas, Bowser. Can you tell me where I am?"   
  
The guard poked his spear into Bowser's chest and said, "You're a prisoner of war. You shall not leave your cell until Master tells us to take you to the kitchen to be cooked."   
  
Bowser didn't know what to do. He looked in the room of his so-called cell that looked like heaven to him. He then looked at the guard again and moved the spear from his chest in a polite way, then said, "What do you mean, be cooked?"   
  
The guard looked at Bowser in a strange way and said, "Master eats all who go in the special cell. It's the rule."   
  
Bowser jumped back in surprise. His own son was going to eat him?! NEVER!!!   
  
Bowser grabbed the guard and hurled him at another one just coming into the hall. He then did a butt-stomp on them to make sure they were dead, then ran down hall after hall killing every guard he saw. Finally he went up some stairs into a big door and saw his son being fanned by one guard and having frog legs dropped into his mouth by a second. But that wasn't the surprise that almost made Bowser faint; his son was full-grown, as big as he was. Bowser stomped up to Iggy but turned his attention to the guards and stepped on both of them until they were flat as a Goomba. He then threw the frog legs out the window.   
  
Iggy got up, turned to his father, and said, "Those frog legs were just baked."   
  
Bowser, who knew that Iggy was a spoiled brat, said, "Yeah, and your chefs were gonna bake me too. What's up with that?"   
  
"Well, I... what?!"   
  
"Before I killed this one guard, he said that I was put into the special cell and that any prisoner of war will be eaten by his master, who is you. It's the rule."   
  
"Yes, it is a rule, but I put you in the cell because it's the best place with the best beds in the castle besides my own bed upstairs. Anyway, I made that rule so the guards will be scared away from sleeping on those beds and ruining them like they used to."   
  
"Well, then, how are you doing, son?" Now Bowser wasn't so mad at the world and wished he hadn't killed half of his son's guards.   
  
"I'm just happy that you're alive, Dad. That blast stopped your heart and if I hadn't been walking by on that path that very minute, you might have died. I did what I learned from Mom to make the heart beat again and I'm happy it worked. Too bad that you killed her."   
  
Bowser looked down at the floor to hide the tears that started to leak down his face. "Thanks son, you're a life saver. I mean it, you saved my life."   
  
Iggy smiled and grabbed his father's hand. "No problem. How are you dealing with life now that you don't have a castle or troops?"   
  
"I decided to side with the good guys."   
  
"WHAT?!" Iggy fell backwards and hit his head on the wall. That knocked him out.   
  
"That's what I would do too if my sons ever said that." Bowser called for guards to take Iggy away to get healed. The guards didn't like it when they saw the so-called prisoner of war standing there with their master knocked out so they tried to chop Bowser's head off. After a battle with lots of blood, they finally captured Bowser and took him to the kitchen. Iggy was taken to his room to rest. 


	2. The Special Today

Chapter 2-The Special Today   
  
Finally, there would be a king and queen for the Mushroom Kingdom. Everybody woke up to see Mario's surprise in the newspaper and remember the previous day.   
  
Toad went to fetch the newspaper for Mario and saw an article that he just had to read. He wasn't a good reader so it took him awhile. An hour later he finally brought the paper to Mario, who was drinking coffee and eating a bagel.   
  
Mario looked at Toad, who was grinning and holding the newspaper up for him. "What did you do, get lost?"   
  
Toad looked nervous; he'd never talked to a king before. "Sorry King Mario, but I was just reading the front page about you and Peach and I can't read well."   
  
"Don't worry. Anyway, you don't have to talk to me differently because I'm in the royal throne or whatever it is. Just call me Mario no matter what."   
  
Peach looked over at Toad. "Same here."   
  
Chef Torte came into the room with a big wedding cake. "I veard that vou ver getting varried so I vaked a vack ver vou."   
  
Peach stared at him strangely. "Right... thanks."   
  
"Ver welcome!" He then walked away, leaving the giant cake on the table.   
  
Peach looked at it, then at Mario and Toad. "What did he say?"   
  
Mario shook his head. "Don't ask me, I don't understand French chefs."   
  
"Well, at least we have a cake. I hope it doesn't come to life. I'll cut a piece for every servant in the castle and if there's enough, for the village."   
  
Toad climbed up on a chair. "That's nice of you." Peach just smiled and got the knife to cut the cake.   
  
Mario stood up and pushed in his chair. "Time to get ready to go to Bowser's Keep."   
  
Peach looked startled. "I forgot you were going there. But, do you really have to? We're getting married."   
  
Mario went over to her and kissed her. "I'll be back, honey. I don't think Bowser is going to kill me. I just want to make sure that there's no threat to the kingdom."   
  
"You're right, thanks Mario. But just..."   
  
Toad butted in and said, "When are ya gonna cut the cake, woman?"   
  
Peach just stared at him and said, "When I said you didn't have to talk to me like the way you talked to Mario when you came in, I meant you should talk to me the same way you had while I was a princess."   
  
Toad blinked. "Sorry.. .you lost me there. You talk too fast."   
  
Peach pointed at him. "No cake for you!"   
  
Toad started to cry while Mario kissed Peach again and headed out to the forest to go to Bowser's Keep. Little did he know that Bowser wasn't there and was in trouble himself.   
  
Bowser must have fallen asleep and woke up to find himself in a big pot with almost a thousand chains around him. He tried to move but got shocked. There was a guard chopping up carrots and chicken nearby but out of reach for a fire attack. The guard moved over to get some more chicken and said, "Master will be happy with chicken Bowser soup." He then laughed and got some cabbage from a shelf.   
  
Bowser said, "Funny that this chain broke right here. Maybe I could get free now." Bowser started to move around even though he was still getting shocked. The pain hurt like mad but it was just a trap for the cook.   
  
The guard ran over with his knife to see what was happening when Bowser used his fire breath to fry the cook. The cook threw the knife into the air and it broke one of Bowser's chains. Bowser was amazed at how strong the knife was but quickly grabbed it in his hand and started cutting the other chains with no problem. He then hopped out of the pot and ran out of the kitchen to find the dining room, where some guards and other troops were sitting waiting to eat him. Bowser then found shelves with big jars on then and started to throw them like crazy at the troops, shouting, "EAT THIS!!!"   
  
After the dust and pieces of glass had cleared, nobody besides Bowser was standing up. All were on the ground with pieces of glass here and there, and one guard had no eyes. What a surprise that was. Bowser stomped on the ones that looked like they were still alive and then walked out of the room like nothing had happened and closed the door behind him. He walked around the many halls, finding himself in the same place over and over again. He tried every door but they were all empty. Eventually he found a door that he knew led to the room he'd been in last night. He opened the wide doors and stepped in to find the room, also empty. He then heard a shout for guards and a whole bunch of troops ran past the room he was in without even looking at him. Bowser knew that Iggy must've found the mess of his troops in the dining room.   
  
Bowser stayed in the room and looked around. He then found a pink diary of Iggy's. Bowser never taught his kids to like the color pink. He shrugged and opened it anyway; there was no lock or anything on it. Bowser read:   
  
July 18th, 1998   
  
Dear Diary,   
  
Today I have found my mother. I thought she was dead for good when my father said he'd killed her, but she really just dumped him. He probably wanted to look all tough and stuff. I didn't tell him because he might've thought I was a liar but then Morton found out my secret after I told Lemmy so he told Dad. We had a little talk and he grounded me for lying when I was really telling the truth. So that night, I ran away and here I am now, in a dark cave in the middle of Dark Land. I can't see Bowser's Keep from here but I know I'm probably only a mile or two away so I have to get up pretty early and start running. He'll have his troops after me in no time at all.   
  
Very tired,   
  
Iggy Koopa   
  
Bowser read it all over again and started to cry. Why had he done this? He remembered he'd told his other kids that one of his guards killed Iggy, then he'd killed a guard at random as a supposed punishment. It was then that the Koopa Clan broke up and why Bowser was now alone. He should have let them cook him, he would have been better off.   
  
"Hey Dad, looking at my stuff?" Bowser closed the book, put it away, and turned around to see his son Iggy and his guards standing there with their spears ready. "Thanks a lot for getting rid of my troops and best cook. Maybe we'll try again tomorrow and have a feast, after what you did. I didn't want this to happen, Dad, but know it will." He looked at the guards behind him, then pointed at Bowser. "TAKE HIM AWAY!!!"   
  
The guards ran at Bowser with their spears pointed at his chest, but he wouldn't go anywhere without a good old-fashioned fight.   
  
Mario looked at the new stone bridge that lead to Bowser's Keep. He'd thought that Bowser wouldn't want a crummy, wooden bridge that could brake easily. Mario started to walk across it when a Fire Cheep Cheep jumped across the bridge, then a second one landed on it and started to spray red goo out of its mouth. Mario just kept on walking, avoiding some more Cheeps that flew right at him. Cheep Cheeps are the most annoying thing ever created since Morton. Mario walked up to the big wooden doors and pushed them open to find himself in a room full of statues of Bowser himself. Mario knew these statues fired lasers and could be trouble if he didn't run fast enough. Mario got ready and GO... he ran all the way to the other side of the hall while lasers shot at him from everywhere possible. He pushed open the door at the end and missed a laser that went through it by an inch.   
  
"How does Bowser ever get through there? I can run way faster than him," Mario said while trying to catch his breath.   
  
He then looked around the next room, which was filled with ice. What a nice place for Bowser. He'd probably get a piece of ice when he was mad and melt it. Nah, he'd probably bite the head off one of his troops instead. Mario skied all the way to the other side without difficutly because there were no troops in the way. He went into the next room, where there was nothing. It was just a normal, large square room where there was a locked door on one side and an opened door on the other. The locked door was the entrance to Bowser's real castle, containing the living quarters and many maze-like halls. The opened door led to more challenges that he would have to face, but they probably wouldn't be too hard without Bowser's troops around. The problem was that Mario had to enter the door leading to where Bowser lived, and he didn't have the key. He decided that he would go to the other rooms and look for something he could use to break the door down. Thus resolved, he moved on.   
  
The next room wasn't going to be as easy as he'd thought. The moving and disappearing platforms in this room were all over the place and three stories high from the bottom, which was a long way down; Mario could just make out the top of the spikes that stuck out of the floor below. One ewrong move and Mario would plummet to his death. Mario yawned. This was old stuff. If Bowser's troops were here, he'd worry. But now, no problem.   
  
He jumped onto the first platform and it moved up to a batch of vanishing ones. He jumped on one but it quickly disappeared and he fell and grabbed the platform that he'd been on a second before. The platform moved back up to where Mario started.   
  
About 25 minutes later, he grabbed the ledge of the opening at the end of the room and entered a large hall that led to the next room. "Nothing here to help me," Mario said, observing the room before turning back around and walking further down the long hall.   
  
Mario opened the big, wide, oak doors that led to the next room to find... a giant lava pit with a wooden bridge in the middle and an ax on the other side. "What a classic place," Mario said smiling. "I remember the time I first freed Peach from this room. Bowser didn't have any hair and he had buck teeth. What an ugly thing he was." Mario easily walked past the bridge and picked up the ax. "Maybe I can use this."   
  
Bowser groaned while he was forced to eat stuffing. The troops and guards wanted to make Bowser fatter (if that was possible) before they cooked him the next day. The guards were also running around the castle looking for a new cook. Bowser heard Iggy talking to his so-called "Top Officer" about the happenings.   
  
"King Bowser is falling into our trap," Iggy said with an evil grin on his face just like Bowser once had. "We will burn the flesh off his skin and then feed his meat to the troops. Our troops will never go hungry again."   
  
"Yes, Master," said the guard. "You will then be king."   
  
"Just maybe. What about my brothers? They may overrule my power when they hear I'm king. Or maybe they'll be angry at me for killing our father. But I must proceed with the plan."   
  
"Yes, but why did you save him from the blast earlier?"   
  
"That was a plan I made. I didn't want to tell this to anybody in case it slipped out. First, I made a house and yard that would suit Mushroom people. Then, I made a robot family and gave them the brains of prisoners of war that I had captured long ago when my troops invited Rose Town. After hearing my spy troops saying that Bowser was heading towards the village, I used my pet bunny to lead him off the path to one that our men made. When my troops said that Bowser ate my pet, I used the shock pad on it to make him jump high out of Bowser and away back here."   
  
"What was that for?"   
  
"Hey, I love my bunny, Buster."   
  
Bowser laid back in his cell, eating some more stuffing and listening to his son's tale. So he'd almost ate the rabbit that he'd bought for Iggy after he had almost killed Luigi. Even if that was just five years ago, Bowser was surprised that the bunny was still so active. Well, Iggy did take perfect care of him. Bowser shook his head. Forget about the rabbit, his son set him up in a trap to kill him and become king. Bowser was strapped in energy chains that drained his energy. If these weren't on him, he'd kill every single one of them right where they stood.   
  
There was a window behind where Iggy and his top guard was standing, talking some more about Iggy's evil plan and about their future. Bowser looked at them and then at the window, where he saw a familiar face. He would have been happy to see him, but his talking would give him a headache. Yes, Morton Koopa was looking through the window at them. He was now a lot bigger than Iggy or Bowser (it is possible) and very ugly too. He smashed through the window and landed on a guard who was just starting to talk about the supply of cheese in the supply room. Morton quickly jumped and the guard got up and ran away, crying in pain.   
  
"Oy, what are you doing here? I'm not in the mood to listen to mumbo-jumbo," Iggy said with his evil grin still spread across his face.   
  
"Wass up brother, thought I would drop in. Well, I did drop in because I went through the window on your guard. So I came from up there from down here. Maybe just about a couple feet. Or is it a yard? Well, 36 feet is a yard. Or is it 32? What about inches, I forgot to talk about that? Maybe I should measure how many inches it takes to go from the floor to the window. Then, I can turn it into feet and yards. Wait, what about meters?"   
  
Iggy's grin turned into a frown and his face turned bright red. "Please don't start. Anyway, I'm in the middle of something about Da... I mean the new cook because Da... I mean one of my troops killed him because he thought it was D... I mean a Shy Guy. My troops don't like them." He smiled while trying to think of other excuses.   
  
Morton looked confused, "Yeah, okay. But why do you keep on saying Da? Don't tell me, you're starting to speak weird. I was in that stage once. But that was when I was young. Which I no longer am. Or am I? Let me think. I'm 34 years old which makes Dad 51. Did you know that?"   
  
"No, now shut up."   
  
Bowser couldn't keep his mouth shut. "No Morton, I'm really 46."   
  
Morton turned to face the wide open door of the special cell, where he saw his father with a mouth full of stuffing. "Hey Dad," Morton said without knowing the dangers his father was in, "I guess you're also visiting Iggy. And you're staying for supper too. Wow. Iggy sure got nicer since the last time I saw him. He's feeding somebody besides himself for once. Wait, he has to feed his troops too or they might die. Wait, I'll ask one." He pointed to a guard walking down the hall. "Does Iggy feed you? Because he should or you might starve. I think you might. Or maybe you hunt your own food. Like my cat..."   
  
The guard just stared at him and nodded his head. He then ran back down the hall.   
  
"What a funny guy. Are all your troops like that? Because if they are, they're weird. No, I meant funny."   
  
Iggy just looked at him in a disgusted way and shouted, "GUARDS!!!"   
  
Mario was back in the big square room where the door that lead to Bowser was. He picked the ax up in his hands and swung as hard as he could, but the ax just swung back at Mario and he dodged it by a hair. The ax then hit the ground and smashed into tiny pieces, leaving only one sharp piece left.   
  
"Bowser has the weirdest doors," Mario said, going over and picking up the sharp piece, "but this isn't going to help me at all." He then went back into the ice room and slid around the floor on his bottom, trying to think of a plan. "Maybe I can cut a piece of the ice here and use it.... but it might melt too quickly in my hands because I'm warm blooded..." Mario stood up and almost fell over. "But my butt is c..c..cold."   
  
Mario went onto a snow bank where he wouldn't slide around and cut a piece of an icicle hanging from the low roof on the side of the room. It was about five feet long and extremely heavy. He then held it and thought some more. "Maybe the Bowser statues can help me," Mario said, opening the door that lead back to them.   
  
Inside the room were the many Bowser statues that shot lasers. Mario quickly froze and looked around. Then he spotted a golden Bowser statue. He knew they wouldn't move unless something passed in front of it or hit it. Taking careful aim, Mario through his icicle at the statue. The icicle hit the statue on the horn and snapped in half. The statue's eyes turned red and turned to face Mario, who was now running as fast as he could. The statue quickly followed and shot lasers at Mario. One laser hit Mario's shoe and burnt his foot so bad that he couldn't walk on it. Once he opened the door leading to the normal room, he crawled over to the oak door. The statue quickly followed and shot a laser at him. Luckily it missed him and hit the locked door, burning right through. The statue was about to make his next attack when the laser that it'd fired came right back at him and burnt a hole through his chest. The statue then let out a groan and split into little pieces just like the ax had.   
  
Mario looked on the floor where he saw the pieces of the ax and the statue and turned to look towards the door, which was now on fire. Mario then picked up a cup-like piece of the Bowser statue as well as another sharp piece and headed over to the ice. He used the sharp piece to slash through the ice, filled the cup with cold water, and threw the water at the fire. Some flames were extinguished but quickly came back. Mario then filled the cup up with water and kept on throwing it at the fire as fast as he could. Finally he cooled down the last little flame and walked through the opening which once housed a door.   
  
Once he got to the other side, he looked around down the halls and sat on the floor to take off his shoes and socks so he could rub his sore feet. He looked at his right foot and found there was a hole in it. It was bleeding bad so Mario used his sock to wrap it around the hole, which stopped the bleeding. He then placed his shoes back on and tried to get up, but he whopped around a little bit. After about four minutes he finally got back up, straight as can be. He then continued to walk down a hall towards Bowser's throne room.   
  
Toad 1: Will Mario find his way to Bowser's throne room, where Bowser won't be? And will Morton and Bowser be chicken soup? Wait for the next episode of Bowser's New Life.   
  
Toad 2: Wait, wait, wait. First, it's only a chapter of a story, not a show. Plus, it's called The New Life of Bowser, not Bowser's New Life.   
  
Toad 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever.   
  
Toad 2: Anyway, Bowser and Morton are soooooo dead because Iggy has more power than any of them.   
  
Toad 1: Iggy is Bowser's son, so he can't be as powerful because he younger.   
  
Toad 2: That's the thing, he's younger so he'll be more of a challenge, because he doesn't have all the stuffing knocked out of him like Bowser does.   
  
Toad 1: Well, he's getting stuffing put back into him.   
  
Toad 2: Yeah, that's right... but Mario is going to make it to the throne room because there's no troops left.   
  
Toad 1: Shut up already, if we talk too much the humans won't want to read this story.   
  
Toad 2: But this story stinks the way it is.   
  
Toad 1: Grr... 


	3. The Jar of the Dead

Chapter 3: Jar of the Dead   
  
Toad 1: On the last episode of The New Life of Bowser...   
  
Toad 2: Chapter!   
  
Toad 1: Whatever! On the last chapter of The New Life of Bowser, Mario just got passed the doors to Bowser's main castle without the many common challenges. And, Bowser and Morton are in big trouble.   
  
Toad 2: How do you know Morton is?   
  
Toad 1: Can't I take a guess?   
  
Toad 2: I WANT THE FACTS!!!   
  
Toad 1: Let's just continue with the story, then we can fight.   
  
Toad 2: Okay!   
  
"Shoot!!!" Mario shouted as he ran away from beds that were chasing him trying to eat him. Mario was exploring the guard chambers when he got tired and wanted to lay on a bed, but the bed didn't like it and must have got his friends. The beds chased him into what looked like a giant hall with lockers everywhere. It must have been the school where the Koopas used to be taught. Used to.   
  
"Only the masters shall lie on us!" one of the beds shouted and threw a pillow at Mario, who dodged it with ease. He continued running and ran into a classroom, quickly locking the door behind him.   
  
"Thank God that's solved," Mario said and sighed. He then looked around the room and saw no way to escape, and the beds were still banging on the door. "Here's another problem to solve."   
  
He walked around the classroom and saw many weapons. He looked at a chalkboard that was broken in half, and saw that on top of it read, 'Defense Against the Mario Brothers Class.'   
  
"Wow!" Mario said as he looked at a glass case full of priceless items, "This stuff looks highly deadly. I wonder why Bowser never used them."   
  
He looked at a description of a vase which read, 'The Jar of the Dead: an ancient weapon that can bring back the dead.'   
  
Mario opened the door of the case and took it out. There was a purple elixar in it, or something similar to it. As soon as Mario touched it, a purple steam came out of it and it looked like there was glitter in the steam. Mario put his hand in the steam and it disappeared. He quickly pulled it back out and it was back.   
  
"This is amazing," Mario said, but the next time he went to put his hand into the steam, he put his own hand into the elixar. He was sucked in.   
  
Bowser sat on the bed while Morton lay in his. Not a word came from either of their mouths. The guard outside the cell talked to another guard who walked by, and they laughed. Bowser wanted to brake the silence so badly.   
  
"So, where were you all these years?" Bowser asked, sticking his finger into a hole in the mattress and started to pull out the cotton. He thought that this was supposed to be a good bed.   
  
Morton sighed. "Exploring. Visiting my many siblings." Bowser was surprised that he only said that and didn't go on about every second about his life like he normally did. "Whatever happened to Mother?" Morton asked, getting up off the bed and started to walk back and forth. "Did she really die?"   
  
"Why do you ask?" Bowser said, looking up from his cotton removal.   
  
"I always asked my brothers and sister, but now I came to ask Iggy," he said, "but you're here so you know the answer 100 percent."   
  
"The answer is..." Bowser started staring into his son's eyes. "No."   
  
"I knew it!" Morton shouted and jumped into the air.   
  
"No fun and games in there!" the guard that was outside the door shouted.   
  
Bowser looked at Morton and Morton must have read his mind. They were going to get out of this by acting like they were having fun, and then run out. Morton started laughing like a maniac while Bowser said, "Wasn't that a good one, son? Let me tell you another good one."   
  
"Please do!" Morton shouted, trying to calm himself down from the fake laughing attack.   
  
"I SAID NO JOKES!!!" the guard outside shouted again, banging the door with his spear.   
  
"Then come make us!" Bowser shouted as he got up and sneaked over near the door.   
  
"You asked for it!" the guard said and reached for the doorknob.   
  
Mario didn't know where he was. It looked like he was in outer space. He saw planets and stars, but nothing else. He was standing on a little while platform that was all glass and different colors. The many colors formed the image of the jar he had. Mario wondered whatever happened to the jar, but that wasn't important right now. He had to get himself out of there.   
  
All of a sudden, a genie came over to him from a star that just flew by. "Ut lost," the genie said, staring at Mario, "somebody hus come to this lond."   
  
Mario just smiled and waved at him. Mario didn't think that this was a land at all.   
  
"You hove come to the connection of the doorways," the genie said.   
  
"Why is it called the Jar of the Dead then?" Mario asked, wondering what the result would be.   
  
"That's true," said the genie, "this does have to do with the dead. I'm just telling you the land that you're in. You will have to go through this land later on with a sibling."   
  
"What?" Mario asked, confused.   
  
"Being a genie," he said, "I can see the future, and bring back the dead."   
  
The genie raised his massive hand and formed an orb in it. He then threw it at the glass that Mario was standing on, but it didn't hurt Mario at all. Instead, when Mario looked down, he saw the spirits of the many dead telling him to wish them back.   
  
"You have three wishes to bring back the people of the dead," the genie said, pointing to the glass. "If you say more than one person for a wish, the first person you say will be brought back. If you make any errors, you could correct them at the end."   
  
Mario thought about the time where Yoshi and Birdo were killed when trying to save Yoshi's Island but the evil wizard pushed them into lava. Other than that, he didn't know who to use the last wish on.   
  
"The first two will be Yoshi and Birdo," Mario said.   
  
"I know about your Birdo, but there are many Yoshis," the genie said, and clicked his fingers. When he did, Birdo appeared floating in the air in front of the genie, and looked like she was alive. "Human or monster?"   
  
"Monster, and he's green," Mario said, knowing that would only help a little.   
  
"Is your name Mario Mario?" the genie asked while he looked like he was searching for something in thin air.   
  
"Yes," he said.   
  
"Your father wants to come back. I know you have no other seekers besides these two." He clicked his fingers again and Yoshi appeared.   
  
"Really!" Mario shouted in excitement, and tears started to fill his eyes. "Yes!"   
  
The genie clicked his fingers again and Mario's father appeared. Mario wanted to hug is father. "Where shall I deliver them?"   
  
"To the Mushroom Kingdom, right into the guest beds in the castle," Mario said, almost speechless. As soon as he got out of here, he'd backtrack out of Bowser's castle, knowing there was no danger besides attacking beds, and go back home to visit them.   
  
"Your wish is my command," the genie said, and clicked his fingers again. All four of them disappeared and Mario felt himself going through the same portal that he had come through.   
  
The guard came in followed by three more. They came after Bowser and Morton, but they just jumped over them and ran out the door, slammed it, and locked it.   
  
"That was a lot easier done than said," Morton said, looking around for other guards and finding none.   
  
"Let's go teach your brother a little lesson," Bowser said, running down the hall. Morton finally saw him running and ran after him.   
  
"What are you going to do?" Morton asked, finally catching up to Bowser.   
  
"Kick him out of his own castle," Bowser said and caught site of two guards, "Attack!"   
  
"The prisoners of war have escaped," one of them said, and they both grabbed their spears and ran after Bowser and Morton.   
  
"What war?" Morton asked them.   
  
"Forget about them," Bowser said, going up to one of them and throwing him into the wall, "they're enemies."   
  
"Right," Morton said, grabbing the other's spear with which he hit the guard over the head. Bowser then hurled him into a corner.   
  
"We have to go faster," Bowser said. "Just pick them up and throw them."   
  
"Iggy has a very weak army," Morton said, running after his father.   
  
"When they went to school, Iggy's fake army was the weakest," Bowser said, starting to run down halls again. "Do you expect him to be better just because he's older? Give me a break."   
  
"Well," said Morton, "yeah."   
  
Bowser and Morton found the stairways and they looked around. "Do you think we're below the entrance or above?" Morton asked, looking up a stairway.   
  
"If the dining room is on this level," Bowser said, looking up the same stairway as Morton, "what with the family tradition and how you guys were taught it school, we should be on the second floor."   
  
"Wow," Morton said, moving away from the stairway and starting to go down the other, "you're smart."   
  
"The best taught me," Bowser said, following his son.   
  
"Who?" Morton asked, turning a corner and going down more staircases.   
  
"Your grandpappy," Bowser said grinning, "but I'll tell you the details when we get out of this joint."   
  
"I think we will because we didn't see a guard for a while now," Morton said, going down, yet again, another staircase.   
  
"They're probably stuffing their fat stomachs," Bowser said, turned a corner, and gasped.   
  
Mario put the jar back into the glass case and closed it. "That was exciting."   
  
He then walked away and went over to the door, eager to leave. There was no noise, but he didn't want to take the risk either and be bed food. He looked around and saw a light coming from the corner. He ran over to it and saw a window that he must've missed earlier. He looked out of the window and saw solid ground below. He looked to his right and saw a rope. He first went to open the window, but it wouldn't budge. He looked around and saw a mace. He grabbed it in his hands and swung it at the window. The glass broke and fell everywhere below.   
  
He heard the banging on the door again while he made sure that there wasn't a piece of glass left. But then something hit Mario. Why didn't he just take a weapon or two and go out in the hall and attack the beds? He shrugged. Why not jump 50 feet instead?   
  
Toad 1: Will Mario get out of Bowser's castle okay? And will Bowser and Morton escape? What mystery lies in front of them? What will the next exciting episode-   
  
Toad 2: CHAPTER!!!   
  
Toad 1: Anyway, what will the next exciting chapter hold for us? Find out in this exciting epic, love, and adventure story of The New Life of Bowser!   
  
Toad 2: I heard theyr're coming out with a sequel after this book.   
  
Toad 1: The first show-   
  
Toad 2: BOOK!!!   
  
Toad 1: Alright already! The first BOOK isn't even done yet and we're only on the fourth sho... CHAPTER and they're probably going to be 30 more!   
  
Toad 2: Can we fight now? Your so-called show is over.   
  
Toad 1: I've been warming up. Let's go! 


	4. Do the ThompThomp

**Authors Note: Sorry I didn't post any new chapters in a while, but here comes Chapter 4: Do the Thomp-Thomp. I'd like to send out the message that my story has a main plot that goes all over the place. Also, characters dom't even play roles. I'm making this story so its like a everyday life of the Mushroom Kingdom and that every single living organism is a living, breathing thing in my story. If you get confused or if you already got confused reading this story like my editor did, then hopefully this will help. Anyway, enjoy!**

**Chapter 4: Do the Thwomp-Thwomp**

**Toad 1: Sorry about my friend Fun Guy. He's always a critic about everything and he doesn't understand anything about others' feelings. Also because of his rudeness, I never had a chance to introduce myself. I'm Toad de Long, a famous DJ on Mushro Rap Radio. Of course I have tuned down to a more serious perspective; my friend here hasn't.**

**Fun Guy: ...**

**Toad de Long: Also Fun Guy is pretty weak so if you're wondering why he's not speaking at the moment, it's because I whipped his butt. Anyway, back to the next exciting adventure of The New Life of Bowser. Also, listen, because I heard you'll hear me on the radio somewhere in the story.**

**Fun Guy: Is tory oring!**

**Toad de Long: Not for long! The action picks up right after the point where...**

**"Get in there!"**

**"Never!"**

**"Get in there right now or I'll rip you to shreds!"**

**"Then do it!"**

**Mario was angry at the moment. He was stuffing his pockets with what he could get out of the classroom in case he needed it on the journey out the window and beyond. Mario was going straight home after he got out of there though. All of the Fire Flowers were sleeping except one.**

**"Okay then," Mario said, pulling the flower out, "If you don't get into my pocket, I shall then throw you out in a hallway full of hungry beds."**

**"You've been drugged!" the flower shouted, "There's no such thing as man-eating beds."**

**"Wanna make a bet on that?" Mario asked, grinning.**

**"Sure!" the flower shouted. All of a sudden, the door started moving. The beds must have been banging up against it. The flower got scared and flew right into Mario's pocket, shaking.**

**"Just what I thought," Mario said, patting his pocket.**

**Mario thought he'd spend a little more time walking around the room looking at some of the weapons that he'd never seen in his life. A gun-like object with a spiked ball on both ends was sitting on a table in front of him. Mario didn't have a clue what this would've been used for. Mario walked up to it slowly, his pockets shaking with the Fire Flowers moving around in their sleep, and looked at it from a closer perspective. It seemed to be rusty, and a button that Mario would never have seen from farther away was right in front of him. Mario moved his finger over to the button, and then quickly drew it back.**

**"I just realized!" Mario shouted in surprise, "I never put gloves on!"**

**Mario shrugged. Nothing to do about it. Faster now, Mario moved his hand over the button, and then pressed down on it. The balls from both ends shot out, slamming into the walls on both sides. The noise was horrible, and Mario's ears were ringing for minutes afterward. Things fell from the shelves. Mario quickly dodged bullets, flying spiked balls, and bombs. Mario quickly ran away from the upstairs part of the room while it exploded.**

**Mario quickly ran over to the glass case where the genie's jar was and got on the ground and looked up. Was the ceiling going to cave in? After about ten minutes, everything stopped. Mario slowly got back up and walked over to the hole in the wall, which he then climbed up. It was covered with debris. He couldn't see a thing besides a gun pointing right at him. Mario quickly got away from the hole because he didn't know if the gun was loaded.**

**Mario then walked over to the glass case and looked into it at the Jar of the Dead. He really hoped it worked. Or was the genie a fake? He had talked weird at first, but then talked normally. Unless his accent was just fake...**

**Mario looked around, seeing if he could take anything else, but chose not to. "Time to go!" Mario shouted happily. He knew he was finally going to get out of there. Hopefully get out, at least.**

**"Or is it?"**

**Mario looked around the room. Nobody was there. A screeching sound came from the door. "Trouble," Mario replied, faced the door, and walked toward it, grabbing a ball-and-chain on the way.**

**"What are you doing here?" Bowser asked the girl figure standing in front of him.**

**"I didn't go to your castle yet," Morton said, "So I must say, howdy!"**

**Wendy O' Koopa was standing in front of her father and brother. She looked the same as she did as a kid; she didn't look mature at all. She was still wearing the pink ribbon on her head that her mother gave her as a child, even though it was awfully small and uncomfortable for her. She was also holding a stuffed Koopa that her mother also gave to her as a child. An eye was hanging out on it and the other was gone (she used to chew on them as a toddler), but otherwise, it was perfect and washed. She wore bracelets on her arms and feet with spikes on them (pink by the way). Her claws were short for a girl Koopa and you couldn't even tell if she had claws on her toes. She was pretty skinny too, and short.**

**"Geez," Bowser said, looking at the bear and the bow, "you'll never grow up, will you?"**

**Wendy giggled. Morton started to laugh and fell on the floor having a laughing attack. He grabbed his chest and started to spit everywhere. Bowser quickly covered his mouth so that any guards nearby wouldn't come and attack.**

**"Everything that mother gave me will never get old," Wendy replied, "Anyway, I'm here on a really important mission."**

**"Teddy has to help too, right?" Morton asked, still laughing.**

**"He's a Koopa!" Wendy yelled and kicked Morton in the back of the head. Morton now started to have a crying attack. Though, I never heard of that before...**

**"Morton, shut up!" Bowser yelled at him, "What did you say you were here for?"**

**"It's a long story," Wendy replied, "You'd better sit down to listen."**

**They sat down besides Morton, who was laying down sniffing, still with tears in his eyes.**

**"Well," Wendy began, "I'm not a master of my own castle. Actually I don't own my own castle."**

**"That's why I couldn't find it," Morton said, looking up at the ceiling, "because your name wasn't on it."**

**"Things aren't that simple in life, Son," Bowser replied, "Continue."**

**"Well," Morton said, "I walked everywhere and-"**

**"Not you!" Bowser shouted at Morton, "Wendy can continue!"**

**Morton's face turned red and he quickly hid it.**

**"Anyway," Wendy went on with the story, "my master is a burly man called James Refick. Did I say man? I meant Koopa. He has a missionaries thingy in which he pays people to do missions for him. I helped him form this so I get paid all the time for doing nothing. But that doesn't matter, I still do some dangerous missions for him, like this one. This is my third mission actually, because the other ones were just too hard and long. I had to wait weeks just to spy on the Koopas and see where this thing was or where the location of this guy was. This one will be pretty easy though."**

**"What is this mission you're seeking here?" Bowser asked Wendy, curiously.**

**"I have to find the main chef here," Wendy replied, "His name is Shevy Van Opry. I have to hold him hostage until he tells me where the bomb is. The bomb that can blow up this whole world with a flick of a switch. Once he tells me where this is, I shall go and deactivate it, quite easily though. Bombs that do more damage are a lot easier to get rid of."**

**Morton and Bowser both stared at Wendy. This mission sounded too hard for a girl like her with no weapons but a stuffed Koopa.**

**"Where are your weapons and everything?" Bowser asked, "You have no claws to begin with."**

**Wendy held up the stuffed Koopa. Bowser and Morton stared at each other, then the Koopa that was being held above Wendy. Morton started to crack up laughing, but Bowser was pretty concerned that his daughter was doing a mission with a teddy. A dangerous mission at that.**

**"What does..." Bowser began, but was cut off.**

**"It's a bomb!" Wendy shouted.**

**"That's a bomb? Morton said, having his second laughing attack still on the floor.**

**"No," Wendy said, "this stuffed Koopa in my hand can turn to life and do serious damage or whatever I want done. But there's a bomb coming up the stairs!**

**Surely enough, a Bob-omb was coming up the stairs with its fuse lit. It was going pretty fast too. Morton quickly got up and joined the others as they ran away from the bomb, but the faster the Koopas went, the faster the bomb went. What were they to do?**

**"Who's there?" Mario asked through the door.**

**"Whoever you want me to be," the person replied, voice coming from through the door.**

**"If I said for you to be my darling Peach, then would you?" Mario asked the person.**

**"Why not?" the person replied. Mario just noticed something. That voice did sound like Peach's the whole time.**

**Mario went to fling the door open, but it was locked. Because he used all his strength, he fell backwards on the floor. After a second or two, he quickly got back up, unhitched the door, and now swung it open. There standing in front of him was Peach.**

**"How'd you-" Mario asked speechless. He did think that maybe somebody was pulling a trick on him and was ready for attack, but now his future wife was standing in front of him wearing a T-shirt that read "A Mushroom's Mushroom" and... silky pants.**

**Mario quickly raised the ball-and-chain up in the air. Peach flew back in horror, almost screaming. "If you're really my lover, then what year did we first meet and what was the date?" Mario asked, already getting tired from holding the heavy weapon.**

**"June 13, 1991!" Peach replied, closing her eyes.**

**Mario threw the ball-and-chain to the side, took Peach's hand, pulled her close to him, and then kissed her. He was even more speechless than before, but he couldn't say anything through this long kiss. When their lips broke up, they stared at each other.**

**"How's you get up here?" Mario asked.**

**"I wanted to see you to give you some company, maybe help," Peach said, starting a story, "I didn't want to go through the front door because of the many troubles so I knew that Bowser would have to have a secret door into his living quarters somewhere. Finally, I found the door and entered. Then, walking through the halls, I saw muddy footprints going and I followed them. I lost the prints because I fell down a hole and I found myself in a large hall. At one end there was a pile of beds trying to get into a door. I knew that you had to be in there. I went up to the beds and offered them a new house in that nice, cozy, castle of ours and they said sure and left."**

**"You found the easiest way around the most dangerous obstacles anywhere," Mario said.**

**"When you don't fight danger," Peach said, "you have to talk it out."**

**"Right," Mario said.**

**"We'd better go," Peach said. She started walking away. Mario was surprised of how fast she wanted to get out of there, but she had probably been there more times than Mario. Mario took a moment to take in how beautiful Peach was, maybe even hot. He stared at her, just walking away. Peach quickly turned around, saw Mario staring at her butt, and snapped at him. He quickly ran to catch up.**

**"It's sort of campy in here!" Wendy shouted, trying to find a comfortable spot in the empty (thank goodness) closet they were in. She was having a better time than Bowser and Morton, who were both much bigger than she was.**

**"I'm dieing!" Morton shouted.**

**"Be quiet!" Bowser yelled at the both of them, "As soon as that stupid bomb walks by and thinks that we went up more stairs, we'll leave."**

**"Alright, Daddy!" Wendy shouted past Morton's loud groans.**

**"I mean not a sound," Bowser told the troublesome Koopas.**

**They then heard the fuse of the bomb as it walked up the stairs. They were quiet as they heard it pass in front of the door of the closet that they were in and left down a hallway. They then heard it explode later on.**

**"As easy as it seems," Bowser said, "it's gone."**

**"Yay!" Wendy and Morton both said at the same time.**

**Bowser turned around, causing one of the spikes on his back to scrape Morton's side, which caused him to cry a little, and opened the door slowly. Bowser peeked his head out and saw nobody and nothing. "Coast is clear," Bowser said.**

**They all came out of the closet and stood there, looking around. "I should have been in charge of escaping," Wendy said, scratching her back, which was itchy the whole time they were in there, "this is what I do for a living."**

**"Tough," Morton said, nodding his head.**

**Bowser pointed to the hallway that the Bob-omb went down and gestured them to go. Morton followed Bowser, but Wendy didn't move at all.**

**"No," Wendy said when they looked back at her. She was crossing her arms and tapping her foot. She was wearing shiny red shoes, by the way.**

**"Why?" Bowser asked, walking back to Wendy. Morton didn't know where to go or what to do.**

**"The chef's main kitchen is back down where we came from," Wendy said, "about five, six, or maybe even seven flights down."**

**"Right," Bowser said, "Come on, Morton!"**

**There was no reply. Bowser and Wendy both turned around and saw that Morton was nowhere to be found. The hallway that he disappeared in had stained windows of Koopas being tortured. Was this a sign of where the hallway led?**

**"Morton!" Wendy and Bowser both yelled.**

**"Looking for somebody?"**

**Bowser and Wendy turned around and saw somebody that they really didn't want to right now. Iggy.**

**"Great!" Mario said, "Thwomps!"**

**"They're easy to get past," Peach replied. Mario looked at her in disbelief. Was he hearing that come from her mouth? "Do you think I just sat around in the castle when I'm kidnapped?" Peach asked.**

**"Well," Mario thought for a second and then, "yeah."**

**"One time, I found a nice guard to be watching over me, and he took me to this room all the time," Peach said, watching a Thwomp rise up and then fall back down. "He taught me that dodging Thwomps is like dancing. Wait, step, wait, step, jump, step, step, wait, step, jump, jump, done."**

**"Wha?" Mario asked, looking at her confused.**

**"Watch!" Peach shouted and then jumped onto a platform to face the first one.**

**"Wait!" Peach shouted. The Thwomp slowly rose up into the air.**

**"Step!" Peach shouted. She ran underneath the Thwomp onto the next platform, where another Thwomp was in front of her.**

**"Wait!" Peach yet again shouted. The Thwomp rose and she continued on, announcing each step move to Mario on the way. The only part where she messed up was in the jump and then jump again part. She slipped off the moving platform, but quickly wall jumped back up to it. This almost gave Mario a heart attack seeing this happening. He felt helpless watching from the start, but Peach told him not to move, but to watch. When she got to the end, she held up her hands.**

**"Now you do it!" Peach called over to Mario, "I call this the Thwomp-Thwomp!"**

**"Okay," Mario said, and he started and did everything that Peach did. It was actually too easy, but Peach was probably proud of it, putting herself in danger. When Mario easily got over to where she was, she was shocked.**

**"You did it very easily," Peach replied to his great effort.**

**"I was in the hero business for too long," Mario said, and they both laughed. They continued onto the next room.**

**Toad de Long: Thanks for reading this exciting chapter! I hope you enjoyed it!**

**Fun Guy: I didn't one bit.**

**Toad de Long: He talks! Oh my!**

**Fun Guy: Whatever. Just talk so I can go home.**

**Toad de Long: Looks like Bowser might be visiting that cell for the third time! And Wendy coming into the story! What a surprise!**

**Fun Guy: I hate her...**

**Toad de Long: Shut up! Anyway, I wonder where Morton went. Did he just get lost like normal or did Iggy take him hostage? Who knows until the next chapter of...**

**Fun Guy: What about Mario and Peach?**

**Toad de Long: That was exciting when Peach came, but I thought the Thwomp-Thwomp would be harder because it's the name of the chapter.**

**Fun Guy: So what?**

**Toad de Long: I'm starting to sound like you now... scary. Anyway, we must go home now. Staying for four chapters is a pretty long time. We'll continue this story later! Goodbye!**

**Fun Guy: Finally! Not a show!**


	5. Sorrow

**Chapter 5: Sorrow**

**Toad de Long: Back for another four chapters of "The New Life of Bowser", and I'm excited!**

**Fun Guy: How many more after this?**

**Toad de Long: Depends.**

**Fun Guy: What?**

**Toad de Long: We don't even have the next three chapters yet. This could be two more chapters, maybe.**

**Fun Guy: Why can't we go home between the wait?**

**Toad de Long: Boss said so.**

**Fun Guy: We have a boss? Who is he?**

**Toad de Long: Iggy Koopa and a mole.**

**Fun Guy: A mole?**

**Toad de Long: He has a pimple on him that he calls a mole and when people ask who is he says, "I'm Iggy Koopa of the Royal Koopa Family and this is Monty Mole."**

**Fun Guy: Cute... so... did this story really happen? Like... did he really have a castle and capture Bowser and Morton, Wendy really went on a secret mission through his castle, and Peach actually had a fun time while in danger?**

**Toad de Long: No, Fun Guy. This is called a story.**

**Fun Guy: Stories can be real. That makes me sorrowful that this never happened.**

**Toad de Long: Talking about sorrow and getting back to work, this chapter is called "Sorrow". And in the last chapter, a lot of things happened.**

**Fun Guy: Not really...**

**Toad de Long: We can't have ourselves talk longer than the story so shut up. Anyway, Wendy appeared in Iggy's castle in the last chapter because she is on a secret mission that if she doesn't go through, could mean the end of the world. Also, Mario and Peach are going home, but how many challenges will they have to go through and will they get home safe? Find out now... aahhhh...**

**Toad de Long falls off his chair holding his chest and coughing.**

**Fun Guy: de Long! Hurry, call 111, somebody! I told you not to eat that hard candy before we were on the radio!**

**"Run!"**

**"Not if I can help it!"**

**"Look out for that bat!"**

**Mario and Peach were outside of the castle now after Peach showed Mario the hidden door, but now it looked like they were in major trouble. Guards from Iggy's castle were surrounding them. Why'd they go there? Maybe we should go to Bowser's story first.**

**"Dad," Wendy said, "let's go down the hall quickly, find Morton, and hide."**

**"Good," Bowser said, staring at Iggy. Surprisingly, he had no guards around him or anywhere near him. It was pretty weird actually.**

**"Planning something?" Iggy asked them. He was crossing his hands. He also seemed to be wet.**

**Bowser and Wendy quickly ran away before they waited another second for Iggy to do something. They turned a corner and went down the darkest and spookiest hallway they had ever seem before. They wondered if guards might be waiting in the darkness. Maybe Morton got lost in it. Well, he had to have gone down this hall. It was the only one.**

**They ran into a wall and got stuck to it. Little did they know that it wasn't a wall, but a very strong spider web. They looked up and saw a light moving around. Afterwards, they tried their hardest to break free, but it just became worse. The light felt the web moving and quickly came down. In a couple seconds, the light revealed a pair of fangs in a wide-opened mouth. Inside of that mouth was Morton. He was stuck behind a wall of webs and was yelling for help. Around him were other victims like guards and more guards. They then saw a hairy leg and knew what they were dealing with. A huge spider, with an even bigger hunger.**

**"What are we to do?" Wendy quickly asked, now really trying hard to break free.**

**"I can't believe I never thought of this before!" Bowser shouted. He turned his head, opened his mouth, and flames shot out of it. It took a couple seconds, but the flames made the web break and Wendy got away, free. She then went over to Bowser and did the same for him. When Bowser got free, the spider was right on top of him. Bowser ran, but wasn't fast enough. The spider shot a web out of his mouth that stuck to Bowser's back and neck. He couldn't turn his head to get free. Even if he could, it would never have worked. The spider was fast and Bowser was quickly pulled back into its mouth. All Wendy heard was a scream, and then darkness. The spider's light went out. Was it sneaking up on her, or was it hungry when the light's on and now it's full? The last one was right.**

**Iggy entered the room and pulled Wendy out. Wendy had a tear running down her eye, but she knew that her loved ones weren't gone. Once they got into light, Iggy spun Wendy around and looked at her for scratches. There were some pieces of web stuck to her, but that was it.**

**"Thank God it didn't get you!" Iggy said. He looked down the dark hall, and then, not seeing anybody, asked "Where's your father?"**

**"It's our father," Wendy said, "Anyway, the spider ate him. And Morton and some of your guards."**

**"I came to warn you all," Iggy said.**

**"How'd you know?" Wendy asked, confused, "Are you a good guy now?"**

**"Once I found out about the dangers of my castle and the world from the camera in your cell," Iggy was saying, "I quickly responded and told all the guards to get away and go to Bowser's castle to look around. Anyway, I knew you'd leave through the first hallway that you saw because Dad always does that, so I quickly came. The Bob-omb was sent on his own, not me. Anyway, we could save him. We have twenty minutes before Spidy swallows what he ate. After all of this and the chef, I'll kill you."**

**"Right," Wendy replied, "use us."**

**"I wish my guards were here to help," Iggy said, frowning. Wendy rolled her eyes.**

**Wendy told Iggy that fire is the spider's weakness and that they should use their fire breath when the spider opens its mouth to free everyone inside. "I knew that," Iggy said, with another eye roll from Wendy, "Let's go!"**

**Before going, Wendy went over to a statue of Iggy with two heads and broke off a spike from its back. Iggy complained about how much the statue cost and they then went in.**

**Now that we learned about what's happening to Bowser and the others, we can go over to Mario's side.**

**"We must bring you back to master's castle," a guard said, poking Mario's arm with his spear. Just a little bit though.**

**"What are you doing here and who sent you?" Mario asked the Koopas standing around them.**

**"Master is master," the guard said, "and master said to come here to retrieve whatever. You two are whatever."**

**"Geez they're stupid," Mario said, hitting himself on the head.**

**"Don't try to commit suicide!" the guard shouted at Mario.**

**"That's not funny," Peach said to the guard.**

**"Who's laughing?" another guard replied.**

**"Looks like they're smart too," Peach replied, getting her hair out of her eyes.**

**Mario moved closer to Peach and gestured for her to put her ear near his mouth. "We're going to run," Mario told her.**

**"That's it?" Peach asked, frowning "A basic run. No fighting? No gore? No hunting?"**

**"Hunting?" Mario asked, confused.**

**"I'm hungry," Peach replied.**

**Mario moved away from Peach and near a Koopa, with his fist ready. Mario quickly knocked out the Koopa that was near him. "Anybody else want one?" Mario asked, arms raised in the air. The Koopas around him raised their spears and aimed them at Mario's chest, though poking each other in the head.**

**"I don't believe I'm engaged to an idiot," Peach said, shaking her head.**

**"Fine," Mario said, "take us. I want to see your master."**

**Mario looked over at Peach to see if she agreed. She did. How could she not? Tons of Koopas bent on killing you with pointy spears is pretty dangerous when you don't have the right weapons. Too bad Mario let those Fire Flowers loose.**

**The guards grabbed spiked handcuffs out of nowhere and put them on Peach and Mario. They then led them away. Away to Iggy's castle, which isn't that far away.**

**"Do you see him?" Wendy asked, spike in her hand. She was ready for action at any moment. She was trained for that.**

**"No," Iggy replied with no weapons, "but he isn't hungry when there's no light, but you must be careful. As soon as that light goes on you may disappear. He's watching us right now."**

"**Maybe if you don't talk so loud," Wendy said.**

**Out of nowhere, a hairy leg appeared. Wendy ran over to it and stabbed it. Green blood splattered out and onto everything nearby, including Wendy. The spider's light went on and the spider's mouth was visible. Everybody was still inside, but they were moving farther back. Wendy threw the spike at one of the spider's eyes, but it missed and came back toward her. She quickly grabbed it again, or did the spider? At that very second when Wendy was reaching for the spike, the spider shot a web out of its mouth and caught the spike, and Wendy's arm.**

**Without asking, Iggy came over and used his fiery breath to break free the spike, then he broke the spike free from Wendy. Wendy and Iggy quickly retreated for a second. The spider, thinking they were gone, went back up the web. Wendy came back into the area and threw the spike at the spider's back. The spider made a horrible noise and quickly turned around, mouth wide open. Everybody inside was starting to scream and were moving back fast.**

**"We need to hurry!" Iggy yelled to Wendy.**

**Wendy nodded her head and used her fire breath. The fire went into the spider's mouth and quickly melted the webs everybody was stuck in, besides one, Morton's web. Everybody came crashing to the ground. Bowser landed first on his spiky shell, and then everybody fell on his stomach. They didn't lose any time, and quickly got up and ran away from the scene, besides Bowser.**

**Bowser saw that Morton was still in the spider's mouth and he, joined by Iggy and Wendy, used their fire breath to get Morton out, but right before the fire went into the spider's mouth, it closed it and the spider's light went out.**

**"It's too late," Iggy said, holding his head down.**

**"That wasn't twenty minutes!" Wendy yelled at Iggy.**

**"Do you think I just stay around here watching this thing?" Iggy asked her.**

**Wendy couldn't take this. She quickly threw the spike at the spider, and the light of the spider went on, but quite dim. Toxic waste started to pour down on the ground at them. It was glowing. They quickly dodged it and ran away.**

**"Good job!" Iggy screamed at her "You hit his light so that we couldn't even try to save your brother."**

**"Our brother!" Wendy shouted. She turned around and went back in. Bowser was going to follow, but Iggy held out his arm.**

**"I don't want to lose three people," Iggy said, looking at Bowser.**

**"If you let me go you won't lose any," Bowser shouted at him and bit Iggy's arm. Iggy grabbed his arm in pain, even though it wasn't bleeding. Bowser quickly ran into the deep blackness, with the spider waiting.**

**"Who is your master?" Mario asked the guard who was pushing him along.**

**"Master is our master," the Koopa replied.**

**"What is your master's real name though?" Mario asked, "You're supposed to call him master, but what does everybody else call him?"**

**"Master," the guard said again.**

**"Who is this guy?" Mario asked, confused.**

**"Master," the Koopa said again for the third time.**

**"I wasn't talking to you," Mario said, "I was talking to myself."**

**"Master," the Koopa said again.**

**"Now you're trying to bug me, aren't you?" Mario asked the Koopa. The Koopa didn't say anything, so Mario directed his conversation over to Peach, who was half asleep from the long day. Actually, you almost couldn't see where you were going because it was dark out. "Who do you think this master is, honey?" Mario asked Peach.**

**Peach replied with a yawn. "Master," the Koopa behind him said again The other Koopas laughed.**

**"I'm going to need to go in a crazy house after this," Mario said, quite gloomy. He then started to listen to two Koopas talking to each other while they marched along.**

**"What cell should we put them in when we get to master's house?" the one guard asked.**

**"The prisioner-of-war cell," Guard 2 replied.**

**"What about the other prisoners?" Guard 1 asked.**

**"We put them together," Guard 2 said, grinning, "They're big enemies. Put them together and they'll finish each other off."**

**"Bloody and violent," Guard 1 said, "the way I like it."**

**"It's too easy though," Guard 2 said, touching the end of his spear to his chin, "I thought that they were to be boiled by the new chef and eaten."**

**This was too much for Mario. Who was this other enemy of his? Who was this master? Who was going to eat him? Where were they going? Mario couldn't stand this anymore.**

**"Push me faster," Mario said to the guard behind him. The guard nodded his head and ordered the guards to go faster. Peach was now sleeping while standing up. The guard behind her ordered the guards around them to carry her. It was done.**

**Iggy stood outside the dark hallway, still holding his arm. "They're all goners!" Iggy shouted to himself, "Now who's going to get that bomb out of my castle? Wait... she was talking about my head chef, Shevy Van Opry. Didn't father kill him? That idiot!"**

**He sat down to make himself comfortable. He didn't want to go back into that room with toxic waste and a now-hungry spider. He lost half of his guards once long ago when the spider was young, but now the spider was older and a lot smarter and stronger.**

**After a while, Iggy knew that Shevy Van Opry was dead and that his father, sister, and brother were dead. He would not have to worry about the bomb and would just kill those three if they came out. And after a while, they came out. All of them actually. They were all covered in toxic waste besides Bowser, who was holding one of the spider's fangs.**

**"We killed him!" Wendy shouted.**

**Iggy was so happy that he ran up to them and was about to hug them, but his siblings were covered in toxic waste so he hugged Bowser, who didn't have any on him. "How did you...?" Iggy asked, surprised.**

**"We burnt the spider's web so that he would fall off into the toxic waste. I guess his own waste must be poisonous to him. He was squirming about so we used fire breath on him, and he opened his mouth and Morton popped out with more toxic waste on him. He quickly ran away and we all used our fire breath on him, but the toxic waste happened to go up in flames and he burned to a crisp. His body started to explode and Dad got the fang," Wendy said, now taking a breath.**

**"Genius!" Iggy replied, nodding his head.**

**"You missed out on it," Bowser said, throwing the fang to the side. "Now are you going to work with us, Iggy?"**

**"I don't work with anybody," Iggy said, now frowning. "Anyway, you all better go to the "special" cell to recover. I'll fetch the doctor. You may die if that's not treated."**

**"Thanks for saying that," Wendy said. Iggy then led them to the cell that Bowser and Morton before escaped from and didn't like, but now they were going there as guests. As welcomed guests.**

**After a while, once they all were in the cell, Iggy went out with the door being open. He was heading away to get the doctor when two guards appeared. It happened to be Guard 1 and Guard 2. "Hello, Master!" Guard 2 said, bowing. Guard 1 bowed too.**

**"Find anything at Bowser's Keep?" Iggy asked.**

**"We found two humans," Guard 2 said.**

**"Mario and Luigi?" Iggy asked, surprised.**

**"A guy and a girl," Guard 1 said, "They are heading to this cell right now."**

**"Mario and Peach?" Iggy asked.**

**"No," Guard 2 said, "Mario and Honey."**

**"Must be Peach then," Iggy said, "They're not prisoners. Let them be guests. There's already guests in the cell. Reter (Guard 1), go get the doctor quickly before my guests die."**

**"Okay!" Reter said and went away.**

**"I'll go get the pri... I mean guests," Guard 2 said, walking away.**

**"Okay, what's your name again?" Iggy asked.**

**"I don't have on," Guard 2 said and walked away.**

**"Right," Iggy said, turning around and going back into the special cell.**

**Shortly afterwards, Mario and Peach, who was still sleeping, appeared in the cell door without handcuffs on and walking freely. Mario entered and got mad. He saw Morton, Wendy, and Iggy and shouted, "Who's castle is this now?" He started to cry. Everybody laughed at him.**

**Fun Guy: I wasn't sad at all in that story.**

**Toad de Long: We thought that Morton was a goner and Mario was sad at the end because he was quite confused.**

**Fun Guy: That was quite funny because he always wanted to know who the master was and then here's three of Bowser's kids and he was so excited about finding out that he cried because they were all in the same castle.**

**Toad de Long: Finally we're having good discussions about this story. Anyway, this story had some action in it with the spider part, but not too much on Mario's side. Mostly just talking to each other and guards.**

**Fun Guy: I really thought that this chapter would tell us where the next room led.**

**Toad de Long: The next room was a hallway. Bowser's castle had tons of shortcuts, but they're all dangerous. That's because Mario went through it so much that Bowser needed things to make him stop in his tracks. That's what the beds and everything are for. If Mario is tired and lays on the beds, they'll be mad, come after him, and because he's tired he won't be able to run and may be ripped to shreds.**

**Fun Guy: Quite violent. At least a gap in the story is now explained.**

**Toad de Long: Talking about stories, the next chapter I think has no action in it at all. There will be the tales of how Yoshi and Birdo died, about Mario's father, of Mario's adventure in Bowser's castle, of Bowser's adventure to the Toad Town leading up to where he is now, and about Bowser's grandfather and what a brave man he was. Because Mario and Bowser are together, there's finally no going back and forth in the story between the two. The next chapter will be pretty long as it also resolves all the confusion from the beginning.**

**Fun Guy: Thanks a lot for the preview. I thought our job here was to review the story.**

**Toad de Long: We already did that so... goodbye. That's it for this exciting epic story of The New Life of Bowser.**

**Fun Guy: I have a question.**

**Toad de Long: Fine.**

**Fun Guy: Why didn't we appear in the first chapter of this book? I read the script that we produced and we're nowhere to be seen.**

**Toad de Long: We were silent then. Anyway, goodbye! I'm serious this time.**

**Fun Guy: Another thing... I saved your life before. You owe me like you said before.**

**Toad de Long: Whatever...**


	6. No More Updates

I really hate to do this guys because I had some great reviews and fan mail but I'm not good at writing really lomg stories like this and I'm going to go into the shorter ones from now on. Hate to dissapoint you but I'll make up for it somehow...

Buddy Foote a.k.a. LakelandHm


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